New revolutionary Windows 1984 aka big brother

Only one operating system gives you the security required to succeed in the information age. Windows 1984 combines the openness of the Windows operating system with the fortification of the Pentagon's Nuclear Secret Server. Centrally managed security is our breakthrough approach to keeping your computer safe. All network traffic is logged and sent to our master server for processing. System breaches are literally stopped before they start. Windows 1984 will not only plug security holes as they are discovered, it
will send you comprehensive information on hacking attempts.
Other cool features of the breakthrough system:
Cooler With Your Favorite Devices
Your favorite devices work great with Windows 1984 including the keyboard and the mouse! Support for electrode skullcap and subcutaneous implant chips coming soon.
More Fun (in the Name of Productivity)
With Windows 1984, F3 is boss key. Surf the 'net, chat, play games, or anything that suits your pleasure. Windows will alert you when your boss is up and about. If your boss happens to walk by just press F3 and all the fun melts away. All he or she will see is your customized work screen (the company homepage, your last report, etc... ). Once the boss leaves the room, punch in your customizable password and your back in... business?
For a mere $19.99 per station monthly, employers can obtain detailed information on how their employees have really been spending their time at work.
Here is what many satisfied customers have to say about the genius that is Bill Gates:
What would happen if Microsoft made beer?
It would show up at your local liquor store a year late and then mysteriously cause all the other beer in your house to become undrinkable.
How about if Microsoft built cars?
Every time the lines on the road got repainted, you'd have to buy another car. When it crashed, you'd have absolutely no idea why. And the seats would require everyone to have the same size behind.
Do you want to know some reasons why the Windows computer operating system is not a virus?
Viruses are free, come without major bugs and don't try to copy Apple.